/* The Wrong Kind of Hacker */ by: feer[0]

There's been plenty of articles written about how scary it is to get caught doing something you're not supposed to with a computer. 
This one is slightly different, I want to talk about why I'm scared to be a hacker in general.  For the purposes of this article, I
will use the term hacker interchangably with cracker, which I know may anger many.  I do it for simplicity, and because one man's
hacker is another man's cracker, so why add to the confusion.  Also I should point out that I'm by no means anything special, I've
been using computers for about six years and only know the bare minimum of C and Perl, so bare with me.

One thing I have done is get into a machine that wasn't mine, and even if you think that's a terrible thing to do, it sure was
cool.  It was my friend's computer, he had been running Red Hat 7.2 2.2.* and I decided to play around inside it one day.  Getting
in through sendmail was easy enough (I'm also a script kiddie by the way), and getting root was even easier (again, script kiddie
through and through).  It was fun, and since he supported hackers I didn't think he'd mind.  I was very wrong.

He became quite upset when he realized what I had done, claiming I had violated his privacy and could have done serious damage
without even realizing it.  I told him to relax, that I hadn't done anything that would put his machine in danger, but he didn't
want to hear it.  It wasn't anything that threatened our friendship, but he sure didn't take it lightly.  For that reason, the
concept of playing around with other machines suddenly became very frightening for me.  

I'm no fool, and I know that doing anything online except visiting CNN.com will probably catch the eye of the authorities.  Still,
there was something about seeing a login prompt that fascinated me.  Something about getting around the outer perimeter of the
machine that made me crazy with lust.  But what about the consequences?  Can I guarantee that I won't get caught, or that I won't
lose my internet service, or that I won't be the next Kevin Mitnick?

I think Screamer pointed it out best in "The Thin Gray Line", the introduction where he talked about wanting to do things but not
wanting to run the risk of being caught.  The thrill of entry is always present, but the risks are so great one has to wonder if
it's even worth it.  So what else is there?  Come on, isn't actually getting into something one of the greatest parts of computer
hacking?  I know what computer hacking is really about, I know it's about teaching yourself as much about computers as possible,
and making them do this, that, and the other thing...but can we deny that actually "hacking in" is fun? I think it is, but now I'm
starting to wonder if I really want to be a hacker.

I love computers, and computer hacking (all forms of it), but if I can't get into machines or have a little fun out there, what's
the point?  Writing programs doesn't really interest me (although I know a true hacker would probably love that), testing out my
own home security doesn't hold the same thrill, and just reading about assembly puts me to sleep.  I still consider myself a
hacker, but it's the other things that can be done with them that interest me.  Connecting to a remote machine, gaining root, and
mapping out the entire internet like someone straight out of Star Trek.  THAT is what I consider fun.  But I can't, not without
reaping the whirlwind of the authorities.  So I find myself wondering what the point is, why should I continue to be a hacker if
the thing I love to do most is so damn illegal?  I never felt like I was doing anything wrong, but the law, and apparently my own
friends, feel differently.

It's doubtful I'll give up computers completely, but with so many dangers out there, I feel like there's no reason to keep
learning.  I'm not going to be a programmer, I'm not going to become a famous hacker without actually DOING something, so why
should I stay up all night reading computer books?  Having fun is what I want to do, but the world doesn't want me to.  I don't
want to hurt anyone or steal anything, but the thing I like to do with computers is considered utterly wrong, by hackers and
non-hackers alike.  Oh well, guess I don't belong in this world.  [feer[0]]