From: squinky@pud.org (sQuinky) Subject: The True story of Emmanuelle Goldstein and Erik Corley Organization: Pizza Underground Digest Lines: 232 _______________________________ | The True story | | of Emmanuelle Goldstein | | and Erik Corley | | | | compiled by, -sQuinky- | |_____________________________| Foreward: Emmanuelle Goldstein, after retiring from his/her career as a successful Italian Porno Queen of movie, Television and more, came to the states to start up HaKkur phreedom. GRRRRRRRR#@! WE ARE HACKERS WE DO NOTHING WRONG GRRRRRR#@! STOP PERSECUTING US#!@ GRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR#@!@!$ HACKER ANGST#@! GGGGGGRRRRRRRR#@! He startd up the fine organization known as 2600 magazine, named after the famous Atari system. Emmanuelle was a great fan of Asteroids and Space Invaders. A few years after all this, Emmanuelle met up with erik COrLey. After a period of friendship, their relationship became something more. Escape#! ESCAPE#@! ESCAPE INTO EMMANUELLE'S ANAL PASSAGE#@! Soon.... SOoon. Erik Corely made the ESCAPE into the land of Chocolate love and Milk Shakes. Emmanuelle was used to that, as he/she had stared in the thousands of Italian prono books/movies/andwhatnot.(See :"Emmanuelle Goldstein's Amazon Adventure"), and had already gotten used to Fudgy Fun and Protein Diets. THe following are letters from Erik Corely and Emmanuelle Goldstein to 17 magazine, written under aliases of course. Erik Corley == Help me Escape from all this Emmanulle GOldstein == 2600 Publisher End of Forward. Beginning of Body: -------------------------------------- dEar 17 mAGAZINe, I have recently started a relationship with a older, more experienced man. It has quickly moved it sex, and other things. Unfortunately, I am not sure about some things that my other wants to do. He has perverse desires to stick Atari 2600 controllers up my ass, and use my body to play SUPER PONG 2000: THE NEXT GENERATION, and Space Invaders. He also wants to put on a glove, shove his fist down my throat, and them make me smell it. Are these things OK? Sincerley Yours, Help Me escape from all this Dear Help Me escape from all this, While it may seem to you that these, and probably other, sex accts are abnormal we here at 17 Magazine feel that they are completely, and 100% ok. We personally don't see anything wrong with some electronic sex. -------------------------------------- DEar 17 Magazine: As of late, my younger, and less experienced lover has started to ask me to masturbate along side of him. While I enjoy masturbation, I feel it should be done in private, and kept to oneself. It is a very personal thing, and I don't see why he wants to watch my masturbate. Also, he wants me to do this while I am out trying to save the innocent hakkurs from the big bad oppresive government. What Should I do? SIncerly Yours, 2600 Publisher Dear 2600, Try to explain to your young lover that you are not comfortable with this. If he persists in his demands on you, stick a 2600 joystick up his ass and play SUPER PONG 2000: THE NEXT GENERATION and Space Invaders. -------------------------------------- Dear 17 Magazine: Recently, I have been having problems with my older boyfriend. While I love him, and would do just about anything for him, he is starting to put weird demands on me. A few weeks ago, he asked me to piss in a tub, and then jerk off while he drinks it up. YEsterday, he asked me if I wanted to dress up with him like members of Milli Vanilli, and Lipsync at a queer talent show. Today, he told me he was going to paint my penis red, so I wouldn't notice the blood. (this is really upsetting to me, because there is nothing I like better than watching his anus bleed as my huge, thick, turgent man-shaft penetrates his little puckered opening.) What should I do? Sincerley, Help me escape from all this Dear Escape, WHy not go along with these things? All relationships must develop some level of kinkiness. Dr. Joyce Brothers has informed us that these are in fact normal experiences, of all couples. In fact, she says, 50% of all relationships has similiar, if not the same experiences that you and your lover have. So, Pee in the tub, Dress up like Milli Vanilli, and Paint your penis red. -------------------------------------- Dear 17 Magazine, Yesterday, while my lover and I were both jerking off into a glass, so we could have something to drink with our turkey dinner, something strange happened. My lover told me that he and I should go out and rape some little kids, and then kill them, and then fuck them again. I have no real problems with this, but am worried about getting caught. I mean if we get caught, can we really go to jail for this? (And would going to jail be all that of a bad thing, considering the stories of anal love, for me?) Do you have any advice to avoid capture? Sincerly YOurs, 2600 Editor Dear 2600, Here is some advice from our resident Child Molester, Mike labbe. 1. Do not get caught. 2. Always go after the children who are loners. 3. When Dumping the bodies, make sure you first remove all the childrens teeth, cut off their fingers, and horribly mutilate their faces. -------------------------------------- Dear 17 magazine, My significant Other has recently found a new sex toy. A dent puller. I personally love the toy, as it is *GREAT* *ESTATIC* fun to have that big piece of metal show in your puckered asshole, and feel the pull of the love. My other loves the feel of the hard metal of love too. However, as of today, I am starting to feel a discomforting feeling. I feel it is due to the dent puller, can you please help me in discovering some rememdy, or precaution against this feeling. While any feeling in the anus is pleasent, this feeling is almost annoying, in that it makes me long for the dent puller, or any object, and I can not very well shove a dildo up my ass at work. (at least, while I'm not on break) Sincerley, Help me escape from all this Dear Help, One can often alievate the symptoms of dent puller love by using Vasoline intesive care. To *PREVENT* the symptoms, you can tke obvious, and definately less fun choice of not pulling your anus. For less effective prevention, try getting rid of the rust on the dent puller, before you pull your anus. -------------------------------------- Dear 17, Recently, my lover and I have been hanging out with a few new kids on the block. They go by the names of : BEANIE and X. Let me tell you a little bit about them: BEANIE has been arrested for public drunkness, and telling a police officer to "MAKE MY DAY, YOU FAT GREASY PIG". Beanie also: no longer has a car or cool women. Beanie also got beat up by a Wildcat Sysop. BEANIE also demanded that some issues of PuD be re-released, with his brand gnu handle : NO COURiER put in place of his real, and father-given Name. X is a rough n tumble d0ud who will beat up people who hit on his girlfriend. Consequently, X is a rough n tumble d0ud who gets his ass thrown into boot camp. He is probably going to kick my ass for writing this letter. I will probably have to blow him to make things better. Sincerly Yours, Emanuel... uh shit.. How do I edit stuff with VI? uh.. uh.. 2600 Editor Dear Emanuel... uh shit.. how do I edit stuff with VI? uh.. uh.. 2600 editor I have no real opinion of X. Not every one can get busted for beating the crap out of some guy over a big fat hispanic momma named "Lolita", so you might want to stay friends with him, if for nothing else, amusement purposes. This beanie character sounds like real trouble, and you should probably stay away from him. Anyone who gets HIS ASS KICKED BY A WILDCAT SYSOP is trouble. -------------------------------------- D0UDS I have read 17 magazine for the past few months, and compiled all these letters for an ex-po-se. What have we learned from all this? Emanuelle Goldstein should have stuck to the Italien porn industry, and that I can write shit about people I don't even know. KEEP THE WAREZ ALIVE: CIRCULATE THE BOXES ISSUE OF PHRACK