*********************************************** ** Sykotic ** ** Times ** ** Issue # 11 ** ** June 1999 ** ** http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko ** *********************************************** DISCLAIMER ********** This zine is for shit purposes only. I don't give a shit if you break the law because it's YOUR ass that is going to get raped in jail. If you do any of this shit (and get caught) YOU fucked up. it ain't muh fault so fuck off! I AM NOT RESPONSIBLE IF YOU ARE A SHIT HEAD!! (I realise that most of this shit isn't illegal but I just think that I should warn you) The Shit ******** 1. Editorial by: Syko416 2. Hacking OCI by: Stalgar The Great 3. Sykotic CD Review by: Syko416 4. Pick-up Lines by: Bob 5. FUCK THE WORLD!! by: ICP 6. NATO by: Syko416 7. Sykotic Interview: Jacknife by: Syko416 8. Crisis At Womat: Part 5 by: Syko416 9. News by: Syko416 10. Top Ten by: Syko416 11. Jokes by: Syko416 12. Left Over Shit by: Syko416 ^^^^^^^^^^^ 4 different Writers --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 1. Editorial ************ First off, I would like to dedicate this issue to the memory of the wrestler, Owen Hart, who died on May 23 at a WWF pay-per-view event (if you want some more info, look in the news section) Everyone thinks that everything about wrestling is fake but the truth is sometimes things go wrong and people get hurt and, yes, people die. It's sad but true. For all the people saying that it is all fake and he isn't really dead, then tell me why his death is in the news? it is on CNN.com, ABC.com, and all over the net. Face it, he is dead. That is why you didn't see the footage of his death on RAW the next night. If it was fake then they would show it, but it's not. _______________ / R I P \ | | | Owen Hart | | | | 1965-1999 | | | --------------------- | | ----------------------- --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. * Hacking Oci * * assembeled by Stalgar * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * All pheaks have made at least one prank phone call in their life , but most of them don't realize that their worst enemy is ANI or automatic number idenifation. Manny phreaks dont know what ANi is so before i explain the subject of this file i have to explain what Ani is and what is does, To do this i want you to pick up a fone any fone will do and call 1-800-346-0152 and see what happens. Basically Ani tells you the number you are calling from most people have the ability to trace your call useing the operator or *69 (who is the last caller) to hide your self you can press *67 it is free but now call ani again .... thats right your number still is read . But how can you get around this ? it is very very simple and the answear is the subject of this file Oci. Oci is a long distance company something like a PBX ( private branch exchange) or a privately owned switching station with less equment. but it will hide your ani now do this. call oci at 1-800-288-2880 at the tone enter 4129282105 this should give you another dail tone now dail ANI Before you can make your call to operator will interupt you and ask a few questions 1) what is the number you are calling from is 2) What is the number you are tring to reach she should connect you listen to the ANI it has not been changed now to make a phrank call call oci at their toll free number , enter 4129282105 get another dail tone and then put in the number you wish to call (as long as it is local they will put you through ). Tips : 1) It is agianst Oci plocicly to pass on the number of the calling party unless they supect fraud. 2) Allways keep your cool. 3) Do not use this constantly ! 4) I'm not reasponcible for your actions. If you have any questions comments you can send them to me at Stalgar@hotmail.com -------------------------------------------------------------------------- 2. Sykotic CD Review ******************** Ah, another Sykotic CD Review. This time I am reviewing those wicke clowns, Insane Clown Posse (ICP), and their new CD The Amazing Jeckel Brothers. Here's a Track listing 1. Intro 2. Jake Jeckel 3. Bring It On 4. I Want My Shit 5. Bitches (feat ODB) 6. Terrible 7. I Stab People 8. Another Love Song 9. Everybody Rise 10. Play With Me 11. Jack Jeckel 12. Fuck The World 13. The Shaggy Show (feat Snoop Doggy Dog and Gangsta Fun) 14. Mad Professor 15. Assassins (feat Ghetto Boys) 16. Echo Side 17. Nothing's Left This CD comes with 2 different album covers, Jake and Jack Jeckel, but the CD is the same. The CD is packed with guest appearences like OBD, Snoop Doggy Dog, Twisted, Ghetto Boys, and even the Jerky Boys (hiden track between 5 and 6 and between 15 and 16) This is the 5th Jokers Card, that means there is one more to come before the Dark Carnival arrives (for more information about the Dark Carnival go to www.insaneclownposse.com) All in all, this CD is HYPE, I give it a 4.5 out of 5 cuz the last song is kindof fucked up (it's piano) If you like the wicked Clowns, you gotta buy this CD. PS the lyrics to the song Fuck The World in in article 5 so if you like it you can go out and buy the CD. MORE REVIEWS COMING....... --------------------------------------------------------------------------- 4. Pick-up lines by: Bob bob1004@hotmail.com ******************** 1.Those pants are very becoming on you, but if I was on you I'd be cuming too. 2.(accidentally spill something on them) oh why don't you get out of those wet clothes. 3.Do you have a mirror in your pants, cause I can see myself in them. 4.Here's a quarter call your roommate and tell her you won't be home tonight. 5.Hi! I'm "Milk" I do your body good. 6.Let's play carnival, you sit on my lap and I'll guess your weight. 7.Nice legs, What time they open. 8.Do you sleep on your stomach. Can I! 9.Fuck me if I'm wrong. Isn't 2+2=5. 10.I teasing the Therapeutic benefits of sex, wanna be my test subject. 11.I want to make you the happiest women on earth tonight. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 5. FUCK THE WORLD!!! ******************** fuck Fuck this shit fuck, give it to me Am I only here to set the world on fire? Say: FUCK THE WORLD! fuck the world! Am I only here to set the world on fire? FUCK'EM ALL fuck'em all Fuck you, fuck me, fuck us fuck tom, fuck mary, fuck gus, Fuck derius Fuck the West Coast and fuck everybody on the east Eat Shit N Die or fuck off at least Fuck preschoolers Fuck rulers Kings and Queens, and gold jewelers fuck wine coolers fuck chickens fuck ducks everybody in your crew sucks punk mutha fucks Fuck critics Fuck you review even if you like me, fuck you Fuck your mom fuck your mom's mama fuck the beastie boys and the Dalli Lama Fuck the rain forest fuck a Forest Gump you'd probably like it in the Rump fuck a shoe pump, punk the Readilen Fuck all the fakes FUCK ALL 52 STATES and fuck you! Am I only here to set the world on fire? Say: FUCK THE WORLD! fuck the world! Am I only here to set the world on fire? FUCK'EM ALL fuck'em all Fuck Oprah, fuck Opera, fuck a Soap Opera fuck a pop locker and a cock blocker fuck your girlfriend, I probably did already fuck Kyle and his brother Tom Peady, Jump steady, my homie, fuck'em what are you gonna do? fuck that bitch, fuck you yeah, well, fuck you too don't bother to anylise these rhymes in this song I say fuck 93 times fuck the president, fuck your welfare fuck your government, and fuck fred bear Fuck Negent, like anyone gives a fuck you like to hum a lot, so fucking what? Fuck disco, conamoney Crisco Fuck Sisko, Jack and jerry Brisco and fuck everyone that went down with the titanic in a panic I'm like FUCK YOU ALL!! Am I only here to set the world on fire? Say: FUCK THE WORLD! fuck the world! Am I only here to set the world on fire? FUCK'EM ALL fuck'em all fuck celine Dion and fuck Dion Warwick you both make me sick suck my dick fuck the Berlin Wall both sides of it and fuck Lyle Loveit who ever the fuck that is Fuck everybody in the hemasphere fuck them across the world, and fuck them right here! you know the guy that opperates the Rouge River draw bridge in Delray Jefferson? FUCK HIM! Fuck your idea fuck you gonaria fuck your diaria, Rocky Miavia fuck your wife, your homie did he's fucking you fuck the police and the 502 fuck spin, Rolling Stone and fuck Vibe fuck everybody inside who ever's on the cover, fuck his mother! fuck your little brother fuck your homie from around the way and fuck Violent J! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 6. NATO ******** I picked up a newspaper today and what did I see? More stuff about NATO bombings. Now, I am getting sick and tired of hearing all this shit. Personnally, I am 100% against the bombings. At first it wasn't as bad, they were bombing Army and Air Force bases, but now, they are bombing people's houses and government buildings. If ANYONE in NATO is reading this (yeah right) STOP THE FUCKING BOMBINGS!!!! These Bombings are going to lead to War World 3. I have been saying this from the start. This is what's going to happen. First NATO bombs Kosovo (happenned), Kosovo tries to fight back by shooting down the planes (happened) then Kosovo buys some bombs and nukes and attacks the NATO HQ, then all the countries in NATO team up and start attacking Kosovo, but some bombs miss and hit another country's land (sounds familiar?) then those countries, join Kosovo and fight back. After a while, they will start using Nukes and millions of innocent people will die. How will it end? Will it end? USA will be one of the firsts countries to join the fight and of course they will end up dragging Canada into it. Since Canada is very friendly, we will send some troops, then they'll need more, and we'll send more. After a while, the Canadian Government will force everyone between the ages of 16 - 40 to enroll in the army. And I am saying this now: I AM NOT GOING TO FIGHT AMERICA'S WAR!!!! AMERICANS CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES! But this will not happen for another couple years (10 years maxium) You are probably reading this thinking, "WTF?" Just remember what I said and you'll see, you'll all see! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 7. The Sykotic Interview: Jacknife ********************************** 0) Elite Nick:Jacknife 1) Real Name:Blair 2) Age:19 3) Location:Glace Bay N.S 4) Do you go to Church?No 5) Do you go to school?Yes 6) Where were you born?Glace Bay N.S 7) What is your email address?Jacknife2000Ayahoo.com 8) Which is better, Day or Night?Night 9) What kind of music do you like?heavy metal 10)What bands do you like?ozzy and metallica 11)Whats your alltime favorite song?no more tears 12)What song upsets you?missing you by faith evans 13)Do you like sugar?yes 14)Do you like caffiene?yes 15)Do you go crazy when you have a combination of both?yes 16)Do you like Pepsi or Coke?pepsi 17)Do you have any siblings?yes 18)What cartoon character are you like?spawn 19)Is there a celebrity that reminds you of yourself?no 20)Whats your favorite thing to eat?kfc 21)How many buddys are on your ICQ list? 22)What are you alergic to?nothing 23)Have you ever been on TV?no 24)Have you ever been in the newspaper?no 25)Do you have a job?no 26)One word, Hanson:crazy 27)Can you sing?no 28)What do you do when you're in the house all by yourself?listen to music 29)What shows do you watch?home improvement 30)Whats your favorite color?red 31)Are you affraid or heights?yes 32)When were you born?01/04/80 33)What time were you born?dont know 34)What is your zodiac sign? 35)What color is your underwear?different 36)Do you like scary movies?yes 37)Have you ever masturbated?no 38)If so, to what? 39)Do you like men or women?women 40)Have you ever consumed alcohol?yes 41)Have you ever smoked weed? 42)Have you ever smoked tobacco?yes 43)Did you ever skip a class in school?always 44)Truth or Dare?truth 45)Have you ever been drunk?yes 46)Have you ever Bee stoned?no 47)Have you ever seen a pornographic movie?yes 48)Have you ever seen a pornographic magazine?yes 49)Have you ever seen a pornographic Website?yes 50)Have you ever had sexual intercourse?yes 51)Have you ever had anal intercourse?yes 52)Have you ever recieved anal intercourse?no 53)Have you ever "rimmed"? 54)Have you ever given a blow job?no 55)Have you ever recieved a blowjob?yes 56)Have you ever performed fellatio? 57)Do you have any warez?no 58)Do you have any mp3z?no 59)Have you ever been arrested?no 60)If so, for what? 61)Have you ever played dress up...in that way?no 62)Would you go down on me in a theater?no 63)Have you ever been horny?yes 64)Are you horny right now?not until i see my girlfriend 65)Do you know what urine tastes like?no 66)Have you ever walked in on your parents having sex?no 67)If so, Did you join in? 68)Have you ever used cocaine?no 69)Have you ever 69ed?yes 70)Have you ever used shrooms?no 71)Have you ever used Opium?no 72)Have you ever used speed?no 73)Have you ever used Crystal?no 74)Have you ever urinated on another person?no 75)Have you in the past five years defecated in your own pants?no 76)Have you in the past five years *intentionally* defecated in your own pants?no 77)Have you ever received fellatio while defecating, or vice versa?no 78)What's your favourite position?i dont care 79)Are you an 31337 hax0r?no 80)Do you like chilling?yes 81)Monday Night Raw Watching?yes 82)Are you normal?no 83)Are you regular?yes 84)Have you ever been Hypnotized?no 85)What's better, WWF or WCW?wwf 86)Does it suck to be you?no 87)Why don't you get a job?too much unemployment 88)Do the girls think you are pretty fly?yes 89)When I say jump, you say:fuck off 90)Are you (or have you ever been) Insane?yes 91)Does anything else matter?my girlfriend 92)Do you read Sykotic Times?no 93)Do you enjoy it?no 94)Is it 31333 $hit? 95)Do you have faith?yes 96)Is there a God?i dont know 97)Is there a Heaven?i dont know 98)Is there a Hell?yes 99)Is there a Devil?yes 100)Have you told the truth in this interview?ALWAYS! END! ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 8. Crisis At Womat: Part 5 ************************** He opened the door to the roof and the bright light blinded us for a couple seconds, but some how the robber noticed a helicopter flying above us and he fired 4 shots at it. One of the bullets went through the windshield and into the pilots head. His head exploded and blood spatered all over the windshield and the co-pilot. The co-pilot lost control of the helicopter and it crashed into a house that was being built across the street from the school, killing some workers that were inside. "Oh shit" Shane said. "Come on" the robber said as he lead us to a small old shed. "Get in!" he yelled after he openned the door. He continued to wave his gun around. We went inside. The shed was a normal shed that you would find in someone’s backyard. There were 2 metal sliding doors at the front. At the back wall, there were some shelves with roofing supplies and a bucket of tennis balls that people lost on the roof, other than that, the shed was empty. "Sit your asses down!" The robber barked at us. We quietly sat down. "Hold on, fat ass" the robber said as he pointed the gun at Shane "You’re coming with me" "Please don’t hurt him," Vanessa pleaded, "He didn’t do anything to you, none of us have" "Shut up! Or I’ll blow your fucking brains out!" the robber yelled pointing the gun at Vanessa. "It’ll be ok" I whispered to Vanessa. "I hope so" Vanessa replied with a scared look on her face. The robber held his gun at Shane’s back and forced him to walk to the edge of the roof. The robber followed close behind. For a second I thought that he was going to push Shane over the edge but when Shane reached the edge, the robber backed up a couple meters. Then, the robber raised the gun and pointed it at Shane’s head. To be continued...... ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 9.News ******* From Cnn.com Wrestler Owen Hart dies at televised event in Kansas City May 24, 1999 (Web posted at: 1:00 a.m. EDT (0500 GMT)) KANSAS CITY, Missouri (CNN) -- A World Wrestling Federation wrestler died late Sunday at a televised wrestling event at the Kemper Arena, officials said. According to World Wrestling Federation president Vince McMahon, wrestler Owen Hart was involved in an accident at the arena during the Over the Edge event on Sunday night. Hart was making an entrance on a wire when he fell 50 feet to the floor, according to Kansas City police. He was pronounced dead upon arrival at Truman Medical Center, according to the Kansas City police. More than 16,000 people were at the event, which was broadcast live on pay-per-view television. McMahon said "right now, there are no answers" as to the cause of the accident, but that an investigation will be ongoing. Hart, 33, was given CPR in the ring at the soldout event at Kemper Arena before being rushed to the hospital. The horrified crowd at first thought the fall was a stunt, but it quickly became apparent that it was an accident. "He was supposed to be lowered down into the ring," said Michelle Hindorff, a paramedic and dispatcher for the city ambulance service. "It didn't get hooked on to him. He thought it was hooked on. We gave him CPR in the ring. He was a trauma code," she said. The accident happened during the second part of the event called "Over the Edge." The first part of the event, "Sunday Night Heat," had also been televised live. According to the WWF, Hart was born in Calgary, in Alberta, Canada and joined the WWF in 1988. He is survived by his wife, Martha, and two young children. =----= Yahoo! News Monday May 24, 1999 12:50 AM ET Wrestler Killed During WWF Event By KIA SHANT'E BREAUX Associated Press Writer KANSAS CITY, Mo. (AP) - A World Wrestling Federation wrestler was killed Sunday when he fell 50 feet into the ring as he was being lowered from the ceiling of the arena - stunning the sold-out crowd that initially thought the accident was a stunt. Owen Hart, 33, fell and hit his head on a turnbuckle, a padded piece of metal that holds the ropes together in each corner of the ring. Hart, who wrestles under the nickname ``Blue Blazer,'' was given CPR in the ring in front of the audience at Kemper Arena and then taken to a nearby hospital. It wasn't immediately clear how Hart fell, but witnesses said the cable he was connected to either broke or became disconnected. The WWF said it was investigating. ``We thought it was a doll at first,'' said 15-year-old Robert McCome. ``We thought they were just playing with us. We were really shocked when we found out that it was no joke.'' Briannen Wilbanks, 20, said ``he came down on some type of cable or rope. He was supposed to swing down but some how he fell.'' Commentator Jim Ross repeated over and over to the 14,000 fans in the arena that Hart's fall was not scripted, as professional wrestling matches openly are. ``I didn't see it, but from what I can gather, somebody slipped up,'' said his father, Stu Hart, an old-time wrestler. ``You don't get up 60 or 70 feet in the air without being properly anchored down,'' he said, adding that his son had performed the stunt with the wire before. The event was televised live on pay-per-view and seen around the country. However, the fall was not shown. The TV audience was being shown a montage of Hart's clips when the accident happened and the camera panned through the crowd while paramedics worked on Hart. The show stopped for 15 minutes then the remainder of the matches continued after he was taken away by paramedics. Hart's fall happened in the second part of the event called ``Over the Edge.'' The first part of the event, ``Sunday Night Heat,'' was televised live on the USA network. ``We at the WWF are saddened by the tragic accident that occurred here tonight,'' Vince McMahon Jr., chairman of WWF, said at a news conference. ``We don't have any answer as to why this happened. ... There is an ongoing investigation.'' He declined to comment further. Shawn Gaitan, 24, who brought his 7-year-old nephew to the event, said: ``I think it's really messed up that they kept on with the show. They could at least told us what was going on. We worry just like the other people worry.'' Gaitan said he saw Owen flying through the air; his head hit a turnbuckle and snapped back. Hart, a native of Calgary, Alberta, is the younger brother of World Championship Wrestling wrestler Bret (The Hitman) Hart. He was the youngest of 12 children. Survivors also include his wife, Martha, and two young children. ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 10. Top Ten ************ The Top Ten Things Men Know About Women 10. 9. 8. 7. 6. 5. 4. 3. 2. 1. (Note; It's supposed to be blank) ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 11. Jokes ********* The Blind Date ************** The blind date hadn't been all that great and she was relieved the evening was finally over. At her apartment door, he suddenly said "Hey! You wanna see my underwear?" Before she could respond, he had dropped his pants, right there in the hall, revealing that he wasn't wearing any. She glanced down and said, "Nice design, does it also come in men's sizes ? The Voodoo Dick *************** There was this businessman who was getting ready to go on a long business trip. He knew his wife was a flirtatious sort, so he thought he'd try to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, because he didn't much like the idea of her screwing someone else. So he went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around. He thought about a life-sized sex doll, but that was too close to another man for him. He was browsing through the dildos, looking for something special to please his wife, and started talking to the old man behind the counter. He explained his situation. The old man said, "Well, I don't really know of anything that will do the trick. We have vibrating dildos, special attachments, and so on, but I don't know of anything that will keep her occupied for weeks, except.... and he stopped. "Except what?" the man asked. "Nothing, nothing." "C'mon, tell me! I need something!" "Well, sir, I don't usually mention this, but there is the 'voodoo dick.'" "So what's up with this voodoo dick?" he asked. The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo. The businessman laughed, and said "Big fucking deal. It looks like every other dildo in this shop!" The old man replied, "But you haven't seen what it'll do yet." He pointed to a door and said "Voodoo dick, the door." The voodoo dick rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said "Voodoo dick, get back in your box!" The voodoo dick stopped, floated back to the box and lay there quiescent once more. "I'll take it!" said the businessman. The old man resisted, saying it wasn't for sale, but he finally surrendered to $700 in cash. The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say "Voodoo dick, my pussy." He left for his trip satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone. After he'd been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny. She thought of several people who would willingly satisfy her, but then she remembered the voodoo dick. She got it out, and said "Voodoo dick, my pussy!" The voodoo dick shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she'd ever experienced before. After three orgasms, she decided she'd had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off. So she decided to go to the hospital to see if they could help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, another orgasm nearly made her swerve off the road, and she was pulled over by a policeman. He asked for her license, and then asked how much she'd had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn't been drinking, but that a voodoo dick was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn't stop screwing. The officer looked at her for a second, and then said "Yeah, right.. Voodoo dick, my ass!" ---------------------------------------------------------------------------- 12. Left Over Shit ****************** Is there anything wrost then shit? yeah, left over shit, sucka! So here it is: Want be come famous? Write for Sykotic Times! Send your articles to: syko416@hotmail.com I put anything/everything in here. Visit : http://www.deathsdoor.com/syko Emails: Syko416 - syko416@hotmail.com Bob - bob1004@hotmail.com Stalgar the Great - Stalgar@hotmail.com IRC Hang outs: Efnet - #ch4x, #hackcanada Shout outs to: ch4x, and Hack Canada. In next issue: all the $hit you can handle Street date: June 15/99