THE |_ _|__| | ___ ___ ___ _ __ ___ _ __ ___ _ _ _ __ (_)___| |_ | |/ _ \ |/ _ \/ __/ _ \| '_ ` _ \ _____| '_ ` _ \| | | | '_ \| / __| __| | | __/ | __/ (_| (_) | | | | | |_____| | | | | | |_| | | | | \__ \ |_ |_|\___|_|\___|\___\___/|_| |_| |_| |_| |_| |_|\__,_|_| |_|_|___/\__| MONTHLY! (Insert witty comment here, eventually) ============================================================================= Issue 9 telecom-munist.phonelosers.org April 2004 ============================================================================= ____________________________ | | | INTRO | |____________________________| Hey. This issue was supposed to be super 1337 great, but lots of shit came up. IDontLikeRabbits is now gone for a long time. Damn the damn US Army. Oh yeah, fuck IDLR too for not even contributing a farewell article or intro or anything, Fucker. I've got a lot of shit going on in real life(I know, I'm a sell out) and didn't have any time to really work on anything TC related, sorry. Honestly, I didn't even read half the articles included this month. I probably should have had Judas do that or something, but whatever. This might be updated later with some more info from Mr. Iscariot, but he SHOULD be too busy working on the BRAND SPANKIN NEW UPDATED PLA PHONE DIRECTIR0y!!! Hopefully the articles this month don't suck too bad! Later. -Dimebag Kyle PS - Many thanks to Rob. T Firefly for letting us recycle his shit! ____________________________ | | | Contents | |____________________________| 1.Introduction of Love 2.Celebrity Number 3.OMG HAX: A look back - Murd0c 4.H4xing the Windows XP Start Button - RTF 5.Tomagotchi Shit - Proctor 6.IRC funz0r - Judas Iscariot 7. makez0r teh fake dollar!!11 - Big-E 8.Verizon Exchange Scan - Kryptik and Rucas ____________________________ | | | Celebrity Number | |____________________________| President and CEO of SCO Darl C. McBride 799 Vintage Oak Ln. Salt Lake City, UT. 84121-6539 (801) 424-2006 What, you want some funny comment or something here? Fuck off. ____________________________ | | | OMG HAX!! | | A history of a catchphrase | | That changed the h4x0r | | world FOREVER | |________By: Murd0c__________| OMG HAX, a phrase oft repeated amongst the kiddies over on Cal's and on AIM and such. But did any of you actually wonder where it came from? Well, the origins are really deep and scary. Well, not really. One hot sunny day in July, I was chatting with Moose Alini. He was yammering on and on about some fucking bullshit. Then he goes "OMG HAX!". I didn't know what this meant, and thought that he was being a fucking cockass. However it stuck with me. I started using in everyday conversation. OMG CONVO HAX! RBCP: So lets forward some K-Mart lines. Murd0c: Okay, OMG HAX! RBCP: What the fuck? See, and just like "Fo-Shizzle" and "Fuck", I integrated a new phrase into the English language. However, I can't take full credit, Moose-Alini is the one who got me saying it. But now look at it, OMG HAX is a cliche on the forums, its going to be a conference this summer and everyone says it. Even drunk college kids in North Carolina! You can have OMG HAX save your screen while you are passed out! OMG AMAZING HAX! The first time I can remember saying OMG HAX in actual everyday conversation was at October 2600 in NYC. Rob, Katrina, Fina, Leo, Sergey and I we're all walking to Chinese and just out of nowhere, like usual, I say OMG HAX! Rob kinda laughed and from then on, it just was used more and more in my regular conversation. Now I have my real life friends saying it! FUCKING OMG MIND HAX! Now that you know the truth, spread it, cactus. ____________________________ | | | h4xing the Windows XP | | Start Button | | by Rob T. Firefly | |____________________________| Four years ago, I wrote an article for issue 15 of the dear old United Phone Losers zine which detailed how to change your Windows 95/98 Start Button icon using some freely available gadgets and a little spare time. That article got lots of positive feedback from folks who were as sick of the little Microsoft icon as I. Now that XP is all the rage, and more so because I've just recently upgraded to XP, I had to find out how to do it all over again. In my searches, I also happened to find how to change the word "Start." And I'm passing the savings on to you! You'll need: * A stable install of Windows XP, Home or Pro edition, with or without service packs. * A small but useful tool called "Resource Hacker," or "ResHacker." It's freely available from http://www.users.on.net/johnson/resourcehacker/ . As of this writing, the current version is 3.4.0. * 24-bit color Bitmap files, to replace your current Start icons with. Size 16x16 for a classic-style taskbar, 25x20 for XP-style. Make up some extras, as your first choice may not work. * Enough guts to mess around with some of your core Windows programming. * A complete lack of desire to blame me if it all goes wrong, since I make no guarantees. Okay, assuming you've got your bitmaps and ResHacker ready, let's get started. For the sake of direction, let's assume your Windows install is in "c:\windows\". Substitute your own off-beat install location as necessary. Also, I'd advise reading this whole article through before actually following it. PREPARATIONS First of all, make a backup of c:\Windows\explorer.exe. Make two backups. Make as many backups as you can physically stand. This is the file you'll be screwing around with, and it's almost certain you'll need to restore it from the backup at some point. Additionally, right-click on the original file, and click "Properties." If it's set as "Read Only," uncheck that and check "Archive" instead." Next, use either "My Computer" or Windows Explorer to look in either "c:\Windows\system32\DLLCache\" or "c:\windows\Driver Cache\i386\". You should find a spare copy of "explorer.exe". Delete it, and empty your recycle bin. Don't worry, you'll be okay, it's just a spare. Now, peek in either "c:\windows\system32\Restore\" or "c:\windows\ServicePackFiles\i386\" , where there should be a file called filelist.xml. Open it with Notepad. You'll see an entry reading something like this, substituting pointy brackets (which cannot display here) for these parentheses: (REC)%windir%\system.ini(/REC) Right after it, add this, again replacing my parentheses with greater-than and less-than: (REC)%systemroot%\explorer.exe(/REC) Save that file and close Notepad. Now, "c:\windows\explorer.exe" is no longer protected by Windows, and you can hack away at it. Now, close all applications and such you can before beginning. You can't really do this with extra stuff running. NOTE: If you don't find the spare explorer or the filelist.xml in the given locations, explorer to search your Windows directory for the files. With all the different editions and service packs out there, I wouldn't be surprised to find them somewhere else in a different install. CHANGING THE WORD "START" Now, open up ResHacker. In ResHacker, open up c:\windows\explorer.exe. If you're not used to using ResHacker, you'll probably want to "ooh" and "aah" at all the bits and pieces that go into making an executable for a bit. When ready, open the String Table, and look in folders 37 and 38. Each folder contains an object labeled "1033." In these objects are bits of text strings Explorer uses. Since the taskbar is a component of Explorer these days, you'll find the taskbar's guts in here as well. Click the 1033 in folder 37. One of its entries is the word "start." This is where the XP-style taskbar gets its label for the button! Replace the word within the quotes with whatever you like. A common favorite is "stop." When you're satisfied, click the "Compile Script" button. Clicking the 1033 in folder 38 will net you the capitalized "Start" which is used by the "classic" style taskbar, for those luddites among you who think the XP interface is as ugly as I think it is, and prefer the look of the old Windows. Re-label this as well, and compile it. Whichever Windows style you prefer, you may as well change both while you're in here. CHANGING THE BITMAPS Open the "Bitmap" object, and click folder 143. Click the 1033 inside and you'll find the bitmap which XP-style uses for the Start Button icon. Click "Action->Replace Bitmap", the "open file with new bitmap" button, and navigate to the 25x20 bitmap file you prepared for the XP taskbar. Once it's selected, click the "Replace" button. Done! Now hit folder 176. Repeat the process for the Classic-style icon, substituting your 16x16 bitmap. As you've probably realized, many of the bitmap images used in the XP interface are stored here in the "Bitmap" object. You can adapt these instructions to replace any of them, but that's beyond the scope of this article. SAVING YOUR WORK Now comes the fudgy part. Since explorer.exe is always being used by Windows, you can't normally save over it. We've already disabled one form of write protection Windows has for the file, but now we need to stop it from running, as well as any other components of Windows which may suffer as a result of you screwing around. Bring up the Task Manager with CTRL+ALT+DELETE. Hit the "Process" tab. Make sure the "Show processes from all users" is checked. In the process list, click "Explorer." Then, click the "End process" button. Poof! There goes your taskbar. Don't worry, you shouldn't crash. Now, close everything else on that process list you can. Leave "ResHacker" and "taskmgr" running, of course, but close everything else Windows will let you. Some apps will refuse to shut down because they are critical system processes, but that's OK. Kill everything else you can. Leave Task Manager running when finished. Click back to ResHacker and hit "File->Save". That's it, you've just changed your Windows core! But, don't pop the champagne corks yet. Go back to Task Manager, hit "File->New Task," and run c:\windows\explorer.exe. If it worked, you should now be looking at your happy new taskbar with new Start Button and label. Huzzah! If, on the other hand, running explorer.exe gave you an error message, returned you a taskbar with NO start button at all, or had some other funky result, don't panic. You can simply open up one of your backup copies of the file, and save it over c:\windows\explorer.exe you messed with. Then try running explorer from the Task Manager again, and you should be back to the original taskbar. The one problem I've encountered is in the bitmaps. Some bitmaps just won't run in explorer. I don't know why this is, my searches and experiments came up empty. So, you may have to start again with other bitmaps, that's all. In any case, whether it was easy or hard for you, you should now be admiring a newly tweaked Start (or whatever) menu that is sure to impress. Recopy your hacked explorer.exe to wherever you deleted the spare copy, and keep your backup of the original explorer.exe somewhere safe in case you ever want to switch back. (Many thanks to RTF for letting us use his fabulous article. Check out his nifty site at rtf.phonelosers.org right NOW!) ____________________________ | | | Spoofing the Pokemon | | Pickachu's Pedemoter | | By Doctor Proctor | |____________________________| You know those little pokemon virtual pets that you used to have? Yeah, don't try to deny it. I had three back in the day. The little pedometer function (that counted how many steps you have taken in a day) can be fooled into thinking that you have been walking for months straight with just some spare junk. The junk list is as follows: One large computer "case" fan, the bigger the better (gives you more room to work with) One magnet of decent strength, I used one out of a clear plastic shower curtain (If you don't know what I'm talking about, don't ask, Just get a magnent) Some duct tape A power supply that corresponds to the voltage rating of your fan Strip the wires of the power supply or somehow connect the fan to it so that the fan starts spinning. It works? Good. Disconnect the fan from the power, and SECURLY tape the magnent onto one of the fan blades. Note SECURELY, you don't want this thing flying off when you start it up. If this thing wobbles around a LOT, you might consider taping another magnent to the other side of the fan, to balance it out. Now you have a fan with a magnent (or two) on the blades, power it up and make shure it spins. Doesn't have to spin fast, just has to spin. Now take your pikachu, and hold it right-side up. In the upper-right corner of the circuit board, there is a magneticly activated switch that triggers a step each time it is activated. This can be activated by passing a magnet close to the case. Get where this is going? Put your fan thingy up next to the case and power it up. Adjust the position of the fan untill you see the step meter on the display advancing. Leave it on and the steps will rack up. I have done this on two of the "Pokemon 2 GS" units, and I think it will work on the original design. I don't think I'm explaining this right, but I'm too lazy to revise it. Sue me. ____________________________ | | | IRC Log of PAIN!! | | Judas Iscariot | |____________________________| So we were all sitting around on IRC one night and this conversation came out of nowhere in regular TC style: dbk, do you still have that school skirt you modeled for the next issue? yup okay, just checkin yeah i can send it to you with the yakbak so you can wear it wait till you all see my ASCII drawing of DBK in a school shirt Since I am a man of my word, and I pumped up my ASCII abilities to the limit (Everybody!), I shall present a drawing of DBK in a school skirt. I wish to warn those of you under the age of 18 (or 21 in some states). Warning by the FBI. SECTION 35.634B. These drawings are VERY realistic. They contain nudity and adult situations. Cable Theft in your area is a CRIME! So without further ado, if you wish see a realistic ASCII drawing of Kyle, click here. (There's supposed to be a link here, but I refuse to deviate from .txt files, so I'll put a large space instead) \0/ i i A HAHAHAHAHA! YOU LOSER!! Who would want to see Kyle in a school skirt? (Editor's note: I think I look good in a skirt.) ____________________________ | | | This Space | | for rent | |____________________________| ____________________________ | | | Making Novelty Bills | | by Big-E | |____________________________| First and foremost, this is NOT how to make currency, this is how to make little novelty bills with your ugly face on them to give to your "girlfriend" for sexual favors. Supplies you will need. *Red/White/Blue Threads *LaserRazor SHARP X-Acto knife, it needs to be able to split a hair in half *Green Tea *Heavy Rag Content Paper *Flour *Table Top Paper Cutter *Metal Ruler *Micrometer *Leather *Smooth Tongs =+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+==+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+==+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+=+= Let me preface this by saying, what you want to do is not make any novelty bills over 5 dollars, because 10's have color changing ink, and I am pretty sure you would not want to give your friends imperfect bills would you? Plus when you see a 1 or 5 you dont think anything of it and just accept it. First and most importantly you must get the paper right, this is the single most important feature of bills and what most of this file will be about. Go to a print shop or Office Depot, what you will be looking for is just a little less then cardstock (Not in price but in texture) you need a paper that can take a beating and still look ok, it also cannot hold folds very well, you need to be able to fold it and then smooth it out without it trying to fold back up, creases are ok but it cant want to fold on it's own. Then what you need to do is brew a pot of green tea, make it extremely "Dark" as in whole box to one cup. Then get out a baking dish and fill it with boiling water, let it cool a bit but it still needs to be steaming. Then teaspoon by teaspoon add a bit of green tea. The water will eventually take on a nice pale green color, you should be able to see thru it perfectly. Take a bill hold it with the tongs and drag it thru the water QUICKLY then put it in front of a fan, when it dries compare to a real bill, if it is darker add some hot water to the tea mix, if it is lighter add some more tea, (Note: Dont drag full sized sheets thru here, idiot, only smaller cuts) This will take some time but when done right but it WELL worth it. Now get some more hot water and add a small bit of flour. Then proceed to cut it very small threads of red, white and blue into the flour mixture. Only a very very small amount of flour and a ton of threads. When your green-tead bills are nice and dry quickly pull them thru this! you now have red, white and blue threads stuck to your bills! Once that is done with your test papers, drag full sized sheets thru, only do 10 to start you might mess up and want to try something different later. Now once you are done getting your 10 test sheets processed its time for printing!!! All you do here is go into Photo* (Whatever you use) and carefully erase any pale green backround, it should only print the features, you do not need the printer to try to copy the backround (It will copy it with little red/green/blue dots and is very noticeable) Change the picture in the middle of the bill to your picture, make it black and white and use some tools to make it look etched. Also take off the little text's saying "This note is legal tender" You now are the proud owner of a sheet of real looking novelty bills!!! Now to cut! Get your micrometer out and mesure as exact as possible the size of real bills (Get bank bills as they are far crisper and easier to measure) now on your sheet of novelty bills mesure down, mark the four corners of the bill on all copies. Then walk over to your table top cutter and proceed to SLOWLY cut the bills, do this at noon when you are not stressed or tired. Just make smooth slow cuts and you should be good. Now take your cut bills and lay then on top of each other and take a real 1 and color the edges black, if when your bills are laying on top of the one and if you can see any black...you screwed up! Then to make sure your bills are not to big (And hiding the black) take the black one and lay it individually on your bills and if you can see any green ontop or below the black you screwed up, this is where the ruler and the X-Acto knife come in. Start trimmin! "But Big-E you said we would need leather!!" And so you shall, take your leather strap out and start rubbin! When rubbed long enough the bills will take on a certian texture only worn bills have and a certain smell, and feel like a well used bill! You can now take a fat tipped magic marker and make a line on the bill (I see more bills like this, there has to be a reason...) You can now pass out your 100% novelty bills to all your friends, and impress them! (If your reading this, you have no friends) This file brought to you by : OMG HAX!!!!! ____________________________ | | | 1-800-774-99XX Scan | | By Kryptik and Rucas | |____________________________| ph33r teh ver1z0n exchange sc4n!!1 8900 loop with 8901 8901 loop with 8900 8902 fake error 8903 x.25 control / ocn 8904 x.25 control / ocn 8905 fake error 8906 fake error 8907 fake error 8908 fake error 8909 fake error 8910 fake error 8911 Pam / VERIZON NOC 8912 Pam / VERIZON NOC 8913 fake error 8914 fake error 8915 fake error 8916 fake error 8917 Rings 8918 Rings 8919 Call didnt go thru 8920 Loop with unknown terminator 8921 Disco'd 8922 fake error 8923 Management 8924 Management 8925 Rings 8926 Rings 8927 Rings 8928 fake error 8929 fake error 8930 Rings 8931 Rings 8932 fax? 8933 rings 8934 rings 8935 rings 8936 rings 8937 Didnt go thru 8938 fake error 8939 machine 8940 call didnt go thru 8941 not valid 8942 Dennise SPetler? 8943 Shandra's Answering machine... 8944 Machine 8945 Machine 8946 Support 8947 Mike 8948 Rings 8949 Rings 8950 Connie 8951 Rings 8952 Rings 8953 Rings 8954 DNS Dana?!? 8955 Rings 8956 Rings 8957 Loop with 8958 8958 Loop with 8957 8959 Rings 8960 Rings 8961 fake error 8962 fake error 8963 fake error 8964 rings 8965 rings 8966 rings 8967 rings 8968 fax 8969 rings 8970 fake error 8971 fake error 8972 rings 8973 Office/Answering machine 8974 Eddy 8975 rings 8976 loop with 8977 8977 loop with 8976 8978 loop with 8979 8979 loop with 8978 8980 rings 8981 rings 8982 rings 8983 rings 8984 rings 8985 rings 8986 Verizon Security 8987 Verizon Security 8989 disco'd 8990 Operations Center? Some company... 8991 Rita Allman? 8992 Lady 8993 Some guy 8994 Rings 8995 Some guy 8996 Sheila Mosley 8997 PBX Room 8998 Rings 8999 Rings ____________________________ | | | fin. | |____________________________| I was wondering...if one race is able to enslave another, doesn't that make them superior? Take THAT, hippies! When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, it's not amore, it's a huge freakin hospital bill.