Ungovernable

by thetechnocore

Uncontrollable.  I stumbled upon this idea while laying in bed one late Sunday evening, pondering why I am the way I am, and more importantly, why I do the things that I do.  Or, as we shall see, fail to do.

Oftentimes we are taught to take the normal view (I am using normal here in the mathematical sense), the view that juts out of the current plane of thought or consciousness.  In so doing, if I am unable to control my tendencies, how may I benefit from them.  How does the oyster benefit from the pearl?  If we are to remain in typical planar thought, we may be hard pressed to find a benefit to the oyster that the pearl bestows.  To the oyster, the pearl is already the result of an ungovernable situation.  A situation outside of the oyster's control, and thus the irritating speck of debris is made more and more manageable, over time, with the continued application of nacre (mother-of-pearl).  However, to the normal or orthogonal observer, humans, pearls have value, or are assigned value.

I have for some time now been over-employed.  I am a remote worker working more than a single full time job.  I am fortunate in that I have been able to find roles that are complementary or in the same field.  Being introverted and perhaps overcompensating for my prior lack of employment, I find the current situation quite amenable.  I have over time devised methods to address the situations where my attention needs to be divided at the current moment - think two meetings at the same time - and how to maximize my efficiency in completing the tasks assigned to me.  From strategizing lunch, appointments, and even environmental events, I have been able to do quite well in my current roles.  I tend to shoot for the middle - an entire article can be dedicated to the acts of self-sabotage to ensure you are viewed as a line worker and not a shift lead (leadership positions tend to have more meetings and are far less reactive).  I don't have any designs to lead the service desk - just be a member of it and work my tickets, nothing more, nothing less.

I have also, for the majority of my life, at least as long as my memory serves, had issues with authority or doing tasks I find them menial and/or boring.  IT in many respects is the safe haven for people like myself; we find solace in the computers, their binary nature easy to comprehend.  It is the people that I find tedious.  Software updates, log queries, helping Steve with the same issue every month; facile and oftentimes I am eager to help. Except printers... god damn every single printer.  It is, however, inevitable that I will find myself tasked with a job I am loathe to do.  Sometimes I am able to outmaneuver the ask, however, more often than not, I must comply.  Therein lies the dilemma.  Oftentimes, the ask is simple, and if I would complete the task set before me, I would be better for it in almost every respect.  For whatever reason, and I have thought on this for years, I am unable/unwilling to comply.  Depending on the role and task, the seeds of ruin may have been sown.  To that oyster of a manager, I am the speck of debris ruining their otherwise productive life.  But... if I can learn as much as possible from the role and even better how to deal with oysters, then I can be a pearl to the next manager.

Analysis

Normally this line of thought would be wildly unproductive.  However, I am playing the long game, and in parallel.  I have often stated that one - if not the greatest - benefit of over-employment is the rate at which, relative to your peers, you gain experience.  Ticket volumes remaining equal, I would be gaining twice the experience as my peers at any one of my roles.  This in and of itself is quite powerful and many future articles will be dedicated to this idea.  As an employee, you generally do not engineer your departure.

Please keep in mind, I have no designs of malfeasance or ill intent, simply maximizing my potential, efficiency, and if possible, monetary recompense.  But... what if... you could take advantage of a behavior quirk that would otherwise be career crippling.  Nobody wants an irritating speck of debris... but a pearl... who would not jump at the opportunity for such an employee, such a valuable addition to the team?

I have arrived at my current station in life through education.  Both formal and informal, both theoretical and hands-on.  Oftentimes, to get ahead I would read a book, take a glass, buy a piece of hardware/software to get hands on experience.  So... why not a bit of Roche lobe overflow (phenomenon in binary star systems where the stars can interact in a symbiotic or cataclysmic fashion)?  The ideal situation here is the former, where the two roles can overlap and augment each other; by getting better at one role, you get better at the other.  Again, this is the ideal situation.

However, due to my peculiarities, I find that I am often not able to meet the tedious demands of some roles and I an ultimately let go or leave of my own volition.  In the past, I would be depressed for a few weeks, but then get right back up to bat.  It is unfortunate that, up until this point, it never dawned on me to cannibalize the role that is doomed for the sake of the stable counterpart.  What knowledge, skills, process can I learn or adapt and utilize at the stable role?  Use the fact that one role is handing me my hat, and use that same consequence as a feather in the cap.

Recommendations

I initially found myself over-employed as a consequence of insomnia.  I thought if I am damned to be unable to sleep, I might as well make some money.  This was before China COVID-19 reshaped our world and when the implementation of AI was bad comedy at best.  It is obvious, even to my raddled mind, that complying is the best possible route, the route of least apparent resistance.  But as my good buddy F. Herbert wrote "The mind commands the body, the body obeys, the mind commands itself and meets resistance..." or something like that.  In effect my dilemma.

Create a pearl from an ungovernable situation.  Despite the outcome, it is my earnest belief that over-employment is the future of work.  As the advanced economies stare down the barrel of demographic collapse, peppered with growing global instability, rather than cracking down on over-employment, corporations should embrace it wholeheartedly.  But, that too, is a topic for another article.

Implementation

As I careen forward with the elegance of a seal in a game of orca volleyball, I must do what humans do best, yet often forget.  Learn.  Learning from my mistakes if I must make them, but whenever possible, learning from the mistakes of others.  It so happens that I find myself in a position where I can at the same time be myself and the other, depending on the perspective and role - a bit of corporate multi-personality disorder.

As I venture further into more and more uncharted territory, it is my hope that the very action of composition will aid in elucidating the best path forward or, at the very least, act as a cathartic outlet.