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...by James Mason
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For the first time in six or seven years, I had to decline the twice-annual engagements to speak before combined classes of political science students in an auditorium at Worthington, Ohio. I had usually been scheduled each Fall and Spring and this had been going on since the birth of SIEGE [1981] and just before. The very first appearance was made by one old-time Movement "leader" to whom I acted as an escort. While that first time was "dynamic" to say the very least, it had also within the first five minutes or so totally alienated the entire audience. As with the handling of that, the publication of SIEGE and any number of other independent endeavors, I felt pretty certain that I was unable to bungle it any worse myself.
One third individual who had been with us on that initial occasion, but who dropped out after the second or third, gave as his reason the fact that "nothing was coming out of it". But since when has ANYTHING "come out of" any standard Movement activity? Was that ever the point? If it was, then we must really love going after failure and winning it, aces high. At any rate, that was never my reason for going back year after year. My purposes were always self-contained, ends to themselves. One other complaint that I got from this other person was his reminders of the "dangers" that, someday, might be waiting for me. Turns out that it was I who had the long wait because "they" never did show up despite the fact that I carried on alone.
My reasons for continuing with these speaking invitations over the past years included a very old, deep-seated desire not to allow– when I was able to do something about it– the Leftists to hog the show with regard to showing young minds the political alternatives that exist. I did it to "show the colors", so to speak. Also, and even though I had by that time fully entered the strategy of the armed, underground struggle and held no illusions that anyone could or would be "recruited", I kept up these appearances in order to keep myself in form, in the habit of addressing large audiences made up entirely of fresh people and not Right Wing types. Finally, as I had deliberately cut myself off from the mainstream of Movement personalities and activities, I sincerely enjoyed the intellectual exercise, especially when it came to the period of questions and answers with the audience.
But aside from all this, it was undeniable that there was no productivity whatsoever in these speaking engagements. It was also undeniable that a certain risk did exist although I would have to class it with the same risk one takes every morning in getting out of bed. Therefore, and in accordance with a set of new rules decided upon here in the opening weeks of this year, I concluded to terminate this aspect of things. No gain, no loss. Just a hole plugged. The significance of that should become clearer as you read on into the following segments.
[Vol. XV, # 4 – Apr., 1986]
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