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BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo*                                *BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo
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BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo|      THE FeLiS-MoRTiSiKoN      |BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo
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BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo*    by: BoW associated staff    *BoW BoW BoW BoW BoW Bo
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(#)                 /|narkiztik /<nightz uv $mokeBombz                     (#)
(#)                          -=- [ANuS] -=-                                (#)
(#)                     */* T-PHiLE DiViSiON */*                           (#)
(#)                             PrEsEnTs                                   (#)
(#)                                                                        (#)
(#)               [KAT KiLLERZ HANDBooK TO THE BLACK ARTz]                 (#)
(#)                       [THE FeLiS-MoRTiSiKoN]                           (#)
(#)                     bY:  D-CeLLeRaTiON TRaUMA                          (#)
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PHuCK YEW !@#   EYE GOT GROUNDED TODAY FER PUTTiNG THERMiTE iN THE FiSH TANK
AT SKEWL SEW HERE EYE AM WRiTiNG ANoTHER QUaLiTY T-PHiLE FOR ALL YEW @!#  OH
SHiT EYE FORGOT THAT DiSKLAiMER THiNG, OK:

DiSKLAiMER:  iF YEW GO AND KiLL KATz B-KUZ OF THiS T-PHiLE, EYE AM NOT
             RESPONSiBLE, THiS iS FOR iNPHORMATION PURPOSES ONLY #@!#
             IN FACT IM NOT RESPONSIBLE FOR ANYTHING AND BY REaDING
             THIS YER AGREEING TO NOT SUE ME AND STUFF...



                     ======================================================
           /\__/\    WELKUM TO THE FELiS-MoRTiSiKON, THE SEKRUT BLACK BOOK
DEWMED    | x x /    OF KAT KiLLiNG, iF YEW HAVE A WEAK STOMACH OR YOU ARE
 KaT -->   \ ^ /     ONE OF THOSE GREENPEACE OR SPCA FAGGOTZ THEN PHuCK YEW
            | |      PANZIE, GO WATCH 101 DALMATIONS OR SUMTHING @!!@#
           /   \     ======================================================
          | . . |
           (" "
            )


    ONE OF MY FAVOURiTE METHODZ OF KAT EXTERMINTATION IS A PLAY ON THE
    OLD HOCKEY KARD IN THE SPOKES OF YER BICYCLE TO MAKE A KEWL SOUND
    THING, IF YEW HAVE NEVER DONE THIS BEFORE WHAT ESSENTIALLY YOU DO
    IS AFFIX A HOCKEY KARD TO YER SPOKES AND AS YOU PEDAL IT MAKES A
    KEWL KLICKING SOUND..  WELL THIS IZ FOR PANZIE FAGGOTZ #@!@  IF YER
    KEWL WHAT YEW DO IZ TAKE A LiVE KAT aND AFFIX IT TO THE SPOKES OF
    YER BIKE AND PEDAL AROUND TOWN VIGOROUSLY, NOT ONLY DOEZ IT SOUND
    KEWL BUT ALSO YOU GET SUM CHOICE LOOKZ FROM ANYONE YOU HAPPEN TO
    PASS BY !@#@!

    [NoTe: Thiz method will not work on bikes without spokes,
    ie: big wheels, if you own a big wheel: get some skipping
    rope and tie one end to the kat and the other end to the back of
    your big wheel, position yourself at the top of a big hill and
    pedal downward vigorously]


    ANOTHER FAVOURITE OF MINE REQUIREZ ACCESS TO YER SCIENCE TEACHERS
    STOREROOM OR SOMEPLACE WHERE YOU KAN AQUIRE LARGE AMOUNTS OF PURE
    POTASSIUM.  BASICALLY WHAT YOU DO IS SHOVE LARGE AMOUNTS OF PURE
    POTASSIUM DOWN THE CATS THROAT AND THEN ONCE IT IS SUFFICIENTLY
    STUFFED WHIP IT INTO THE BATHTUB WHEN YER MOTHER IS HAViNG A BATH
    OR EVEN INTO A PUBLIC SWIMMING POOL.  YOU WILL REVEL IN THE XPLOSION
    OF KAT FUR AND INTESTINES THAT WILL RESULT FROM SUCH ELEETNEZZ..
    IN KASE YOU DONT KNOW, POTASSIUM + h2o (water) kauses a minor xplosion.
    THE MORE PURE POTASSIUM YEW STUFF THE KAT WITH THE BETTER THE BOOM.

    [NoTe: Another play on this method iz to stuff the kat with the
    potassium and then remark to your mom that the kat looks like it
    needz a bath, when yer mom immerses the kat in water *B00M*.. hehe
    If you want to be elaborate, talk to your mom alot about spontaneous
    combustion, fill her head with lotz of horror stories about it then
    proceed with the plan...  it will take her weekz to recover from
    the shock when FeFe goez BooM-BooM]
    [NoTe#2: ThiZ meth0d iz loadz of fun when you employ one of th0se
    panzie 'throw in yer quarterz' publik fountainz as yer detonator]

    DEW YEW HAVE A MIKROWAVE ?!?!?  iF SO THiS NEXT MeTHOD IZ DEFINITELY
    THE THiNG TEW DEW ON THoZE RAiNY SUMMER DAZE WHEN YEW R BORED OUT OF
    YER MIND @!#@!  EYE AM SURE BY NOW YEW R BORED OF MERELY JAMMiNG YER
    FAVOURiTE FELiNE iNTO THE MiCROWAVE ON HIGH FOR 10 MiNUTES, WELL HERE
    iZ A METHOD WHICH ADDZ SUM EXCiTEMENT !@#!@ WHAT YEW WiLL NEED BESiDES
    THE OBViOUS KAT AND MiCROWAVE iZ:  a) YER MOTHERZ FAVOURiTE PEARL
    NECKLACE.  b) A SHiTLOAD OF POPKORN KERNELZ !@#!@  STRiNG THE PEARLZ
    AROUND THE KAT, THROW IT IN THE MiCROWAVE AND THEN FiLL THE MiCROWAVE
    WiTH POPKORN...  KLOSE THE DOOR, CRANK IT ON HIGH AND RUN LiKE HELL #@!#
    THiS METHoD iZ VERY MESSY #!@#  THE RESULTANT EXPLOSION WiLL B MAMMOTH
    SEW MAKE SURE NOONE IZ AROUND BuT YEW WHEN YEW DEW THiS ONE !@#@!

    THiZ ENDZ PART ONE oF THE FELiS-MoRTiSiKON #@!#  PHUCK YEW !@#@!
    WATCH FER MORE QUALiTY [ANuS] PHiLeZ KUMMING YER WAY SooN !@#
    GREETZ GOEZ OUT TEW:  SKAR-TiSSUE, MuTiLaTeD-KaT [FEaR]
    SPECIAL GREETZ GOEZ OUT TEW ALL [FEaR] MEMBERZ @!#@!
    FeLiNe Exterminatorz/Anarkistik R0dentz  0H SHiT!@#  THAT REMiNDZ
    ME, EYE FORGOT TO MENTION ANARKYKON @!# OK:


    ==========================
    =      ANARKYKON '94     =
    ==========================

    EYE ARRiVED AT THE CONVENTION CENTER AROUND 5PM JUST AS
    SEVERED LiMB AND DEMONiKiZT WERE HEADiNG OUT TO GO
    TRASHiNG AT SMITH AND WESSON, LUCKiLY THEY HAD ROOM FOR
    ME, SO OFF WE WENT..  THE THREE OF US SPED OFF TOWARDZ
    THE SMITH AND WESSON BUILDING IN DEMONiKiZT's VAN AT QUITE
    A FRANTiC PACE ONLY STOPPING AT A RED LiGHT ONCE TO PuLL
    OVER AND MaCE AN OLD LADY WHO WUZ STaNDiNG ON A KURB..
    OK, WE ARRiVED AT SMiTH AND WESSON JUST AZ THEY WERE KLOSING
    SO WE WAiTED OUTSIDE IN THE VAN UNTIL THE LAST EMPLOYEE HAD
    LEFT, AT WHICH POINT DEMONIKiZT LEAPED OUT WiTH SEVERED LiMB
    AND EYE IN TOW, WE MADE A QUIK B LiNE TO THE DUMPSTER AND EYE
    LEAPED iN..  SEVERED LiMB LiT A SMOKE BOMB TO PROViDE US WITH
    SUM DEGREE OF COVER AND QUICKLY JOINED ME iN THE DUMPZTER @!#
    WE SiFTED THROUGH THE MEZZ AND ALL WE GOT WERE A FEW SHELL
    CAZINGZ AND EYE FOUND SUM PRiNTOUTZ FER A LAZERSKOPE PLANS OR
    SUMTHiNG #@!#  OK BACK TO THA KONVENTION CENTER #!@#
    WHEN WE ARRiVED WE WERE GiVEN OUR NAMETAGZ AND SHuFFLED OFF TEW
    A ROOM WHERE A FEW TALKZ WERE GIVEN ON TERRORIZM AND A FEW
    BORING LEKTUREZ ON SNEAKING INTO BUILDINGZ AND LOCK PICKING #!@
    EYE RAN INTO RANCiD MEAT AT THE LEKTUREZ AND HE INVITED ME UP
    TO HIZ ROOM TO LOOK AT HIZ CHEMICAL WEAPONS, WHEN WE GOT UP THERE
    HE SUGGEZTED WE TEAR GAZ THE LOBBY, WHICH WE DID... NEEDLEZZ TO
    SAY THE POLIZE SHOWED AND THA KONVENTION ENDED EaRLY @!#!@
    PHUCK YEW !@#@! EYE GOTTa GO NOW..

                                    D-CeLLeRaTiON TRaUMA
                                    [ANuS] '94
                                    $@#!$#@$@$