Ah, beautiful Haiti: A real pearl in the Caribbean! The first country ever ruled by the Negro. This picture was taken back in November, 2008 — long before any earthquake.

YESTERDAY, THE “COUNTRY” of Haiti was hit by a 7.0 earthquake, so now everyone is supposed to act all concerned and shit. Look, I don’t give a rat’s ass about Haiti. Never have. But yeah, I’m concerned all right — concerned that a lot more US taxpayer money will certainly be going down to that asshole of the planet (we’ve already been supporting them since 1915). Hell, the place probably looks not much different from before the quake, anyways. It would be far better if we just did nothing and let them all starve to death.

Here’s a great idea: We could air-drop some pallets of strychnine or some other fast-acting poison and Kool-aid, along with simple instructions (the pictograph, visual kind) on how to mix it properly before drinking. All things considered, that would be the best thing for both them and us. We shouldn’t let them suffer anymore.

Why so shocked by that idea? Hey, they’re worthless and always have been. Basically, it’s nothing but a giant breeding ground of disease (like HIV) for the Western Hemisphere and a drain on US Foreign Aid. They’ve cut down most of the trees to use as fuel for cooking any stray dogs and cats. They even eat mud cookies for real and are always robbing and murdering each other. It’s kind of like a large-scale, tropical version of Detroit.

What’s more is that these violent and lazy Haitian Negroes once hacked to death with machetes tens of thousands of French and Spanish White prisoners during their revolution (innocent women and children, too). Bet you didn’t know that? Yep, some bulbous-eyed Negro named Toussaint L’Ouverture (right) and his crazed Black pals went on unbelievable rampages even after gaining freedom from slavery. Hell, they named the capital’s airport after the guy. Blacks will machete not only each other, but Whites too, in case you’re so stupid to think otherwise.

Let’s keep our money right here in America. We need it in our country for a change.

I say: NO MORE AMERICAN TAX MONEY TO WORTHLESS HAITI OR ISRAEL!

– Phillip Marlowe

From Council of Concerned Citizens:

Oldest self-governed Negro republic is completely dependent on US handouts even without earthquakes.

In the 1700’s what is now Haiti was called the “Jewel of the Caribbean,” and supplied about 40% of the world’s sugar.

In 1791 the government of France passed legislation to phase out slavery in it’s Caribbean colonies and grant the former Negro slaves citizenship. Rather than becoming citizens, Haiti’s Negro population mass murdered all whites and Mulattoes who could not flee the Island in time. In 1804 only full blooded Negros remained and Haiti became the first Negro ruled nation. The Haitian revolution dominated America’s debate over slavery. While both the north and the south agreed that slavery should be ended, southerners and a large percentage of northerners universally opposed having a large population of freed slaves living in their midst. The Haitian “Revolution” was fresh in everyone’s mind.

Flash forward to 1915. The “Jewel of the Caribbean” is now a desolate cesspool, that is exporting almost no sugar. The United States decides to “take up the white man’s burden” and send the US Marine Corps to rebuild Haiti’s infrastructure and feed it’s starving population.

The United States gave huge amounts of money to Haiti and oversaw the building of 1,000 miles of road, telephone lines, modernized it’s port, and helped Haiti to start exporting sugar once again. The US also put an end to the thousands of bandits along Haiti’s border with the Dominican Republic. The US left in 1934 at the request of the then stabilized and very ungrateful Haitian government.

Haiti immediately sank straight back into total desolation strife. In 1973 the United State once again began playing a huge role in Haiti, giving the Island huge sums of money in handouts each year.

In 1994 the Clinton administration once again sent the US military to Haiti to rebuild the Island’s infrastructure.

In 1995 the Peace Corps went to Haiti in large numbers to train the Haitians in job skills. The US government spent almost one Billion providing food and job training to the Haitians between 95 and 99.

So when Obama says that Haiti has our “full, unwavering, support,” they have already had our full support since 1915.