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---  -              RIM BlackBerry Pearl (8100) Disco Clit              -  ---
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                "Bring your mother, and bring your sister too
                  I'm a clit licker, and I wanna lick you!"

                  -- G. G. Allin, Clit Licker, E.M.F, 1983

You may not be aware of this, but the BlackBerry Pearl is very much like a
woman. It's nice to look at and can be used "hands-free", but it also demands
constant attention. And it interrupts you. And it's expensive.

But there's another striking similarity, one which you likely overlooked on
your phone just as you would have overlooked it on a woman were you ever to
get one in your parents basement naked...

This phone has a clit.

What does this phone-clit do? Well, you have to spend a lot of time rubbing
it up and down and back and forth and twiddling it around if you want your
phone to do what you want it to. (Sound familiar?) But just like a real clit,
no matter how much attention you give it, it really doesn't give anything
back. That is until now...

You can make that clit light up like a jewish christmas tree on chinese new
year. Just do like this...

                                                 .--'''-.
                                                (        `.
                                                 `-,-      \
                                              .---'._       \
                                             /        `-.    |
            Call Button ->                   \,'''--.    \   /
                                             /(.(.)~ `-. ;  /
            Menu/Blackberry Button ->       ( (_       / |_/
                                             \ .__,   |   \
            Options - ->                      `-.-\\\'(    `--._
                                               //_) |_ \        \
            General Options ->                (____\____)        )
                                              _ |       \___     /
            Ringtone Lighting ->             ( `'           )---`
                                              '.         .-`
            Change to Trackball - - ->         \_,'\_,`._)
                                                  | | |
                                                   \ \ \_
                                                ,--' |   \
                                               (_____\    |
                                                      `...'

Now every incoming call is like a disco in your pants as your clit pulses
and undulates psychedelic colors to the beat of your ringtone. Ohhh yessss...
The hunnies tight little smurf-panties will be moist with pleasure and
excitement after observing your mad phone-clit manipulation skills.

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-- Smurfberries for breakfast!? -- CYB -- www.hackcanada.com -- 2007-03-29 ---
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