Rev. Bob Shannon

Date: Fri, 27 Sep 1996
From: "Rev. Bob Shannon"
To: fivestring@gnn.com
Subject: My Story

I am 51 years old, the father of 7 children and married for 30 years. I have been diagnosed as a manic-depressive, schiziod personality and schizophrenic. Before 1964 I was none of these things.

In 1962 I dropped out of high school and joined the US Army. It was a terrible experience and I was totally unprepared for it. In 1963 I went AWOL 5 times in an attempt to get kicked out of the Army and go back home to finish school. On my last AWOL I was sure that if I got caught, I would go to Leavenworth, so when I WAS caught, I acted "crazy" in an attempt to be sent to a hospital instead of the brig. It worked...I was sent to Walter Reed Army Medical Center for 6 months. In July of 1994 I was released on a General Disharge under Honorable Conditions. The medical board determined that there was nothing wrong with me! Of course I already knew that.  :->

Shortly before my medical board and discharge, while on an open ward in the psychiatric division, the ward Sergeant asked me if I would like to make 5 dollars for being a guinea pig for a half day in Maryland. Maryland is just a few blocks from Walter Reed but I would have to take a bus, in my civilian clothes on a weekend. I accepted.

My recollections of the actual testing are VERY dim indeed. I was told where to get off the bus and what address to look for in Maryland. I do not remember the city but it was a good 20 minute ride. The building was a large one story warehouse-looking building. Inside was clean and there were soundproof cubicles. There were at least two men there to greet me. They wore civilian clothes. I was given something to drink but do not remember what it was. It may have been coffee or may have been juice, it has been too long.

I signed some papers. I have no recollection of what was on those papers. I was put into a cubicle with a comfortable chair which faced a window into the adjoining room. I could not see what was in the other room, but I could barely make out the shadows of people and some sort of electronic gadgetry. Much happened in the next few hours but I forget most of it....They played loud noises...such as helicopters and large artillery and then the lights in the room seemed to flash on and off. At one point the light was off in my room and on in the adjoining room and I could see a man sitting behind a console....

Not more than 2 weeks later I was going home to Cleveland. It was shortly after that I had started to have symptoms of panic, paranoia and other....It was a few years later, after VietNam that I started having a belief that I had been there. While watching the movie Platoon, and hearing the loud noise of the Huey copters, I had to leave immediately in tears. I felt as though I had truly been to Viet Nam...I still have those feelings...Whenever I hear certain war noises it comes flashing back to me as though I was there on some sort of secret mission, which of course is not true..It is though I have had more than one life??? One time a few years ago, my son rented the movie Jacobs Ladder. I felt a terrific force to leave the room in tears during the noises of war and words came to me that were not mine. I tried to watch that movie many times over the years and only recently was I able to finish it without having tremendous anxiety.

In 1992 I had reason to go to a Vet counselor. He was not in but an assistant was...Just as a matter of conversation I told him about the incident in Maryland. He said he had heard it from others and that I should absolutely report it and attempt to get some sort of disability for it. When I came back a week later to see the counselor, he was a very mean spirited man who told me I had virutally no chance of getting any recognition.

In 1993 I called the Veterans Adminstration in DC and spoke with someone who seemed to have compassion about the problems but told me that others had tried to seek information from the government only to reach dead-ends and that it would be a waste of my time to continue.

To this date I am socially dysfunctional. There are thousands of mentally ill people out there in the world, but with me, I can remember the very day it all started in that warehouse in Maryland. What did they do to me? I have no idea. I also now believe that they can and do track my "progress". I also believe they track many others.... but that could just be a part of a normal disease... somehow.. I don't think so!

I appreciate the chance to tell this story on your fine page and look for anyone else who has had similar experiences to write me at:

rshannon@bbs.ert.com