Nettwerked Lays off 4500 from Red Deer factory

Frank "Paradichlorobenzene" Wizbone, February 16, 2004


In a surprising move, President and CEO of Nettwerked Communinications 
Inc. (LMNOP/TSX) has announced it will be shutting down its Red Deer, 
Alberta manufacturing plant and outsourcing the jobs to factories run by 
independent labour contractors in Import/Export zones in China.

At a public press meeting this morning, Mr. Clone stated "This is a 
positive move for Nettwerked, our Brand must stay competitive. Others 
such as Nike and IBM have reaped the benefits of more cost-effective 
labour practices available in other countries. It's our turn for a piece 
of the globalization pie!"

After the announcement, the Nettwerked shares skyrocketed closing at a 
record $108.40, ten times that of arch-rival Nortel Networks Corp. (NT)

Details of the impact this will have on the small township of Red Deer are 
still unclear. The closure, oddly enough, followed shortly after rumors of 
unionizing began to spread through the company.

"When will Nettwerked's evil empire be toppled?" Sobbed one worker as she 
was forced from the building by three armored security guards.

The Clone only has one response for such people, "In the longrun, this 
will be good for the local economy."