>From - Sat Mar 02 00:57:18 2024
Received: by 10.229.96.203 with SMTP id i11mr1874265qcn.12.1242708185426;
Mon, 18 May 2009 21:43:05 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <areda..._at_msn.com>
Received: from blu0-omc2-s34.blu0.hotmail.com (blu0-omc2-s34.blu0.hotmail.com [65.55.111.109])
by gmr-mx.google.com with ESMTP id 21si431782qyk.10.2009.05.18.21.43.05;
Mon, 18 May 2009 21:43:05 -0700 (PDT)
Received-SPF: pass (google.com: domain of areda..._at_msn.com designates 65.55.111.109 as permitted sender) client-ipe.55.111.109;
Authentication-Results: gmr-mx.google.com; spf=pass (google.com: domain of areda..._at_msn.com designates 65.55.111.109 as permitted sender) smtp.mail
eda..._at_msn.com
Received: from BLU149-DS18 ([65.55.111.71]) by blu0-omc2-s34.blu0.hotmail.com with Microsoft SMTPSVC(6.0.3790.3959);
Mon, 18 May 2009 21:43:05 -0700
X-Originating-IP: [71.12.185.45]
X-Originating-Email: [areda..._at_msn.com]
Message-ID: <BLU149-DS1893FEAB7277AE1CA9F60CBC5B0_at_phx.gbl>
Return-Path: areda..._at_msn.com
From: "Its from Onion" <areda..._at_msn.com>
To: "TSCM-L2006" <TSCM-..._at_googlegroups.com>
Subject: Mensa word play
Date: Mon, 18 May 2009 23:43:02 -0500
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/alternative;
boundary="----=_NextPart_000_07BB_01C9D812.6264E480"
X-Priority: 3
X-MSMail-Priority: Normal
X-Mailer: MSN 9
X-MimeOLE: Produced By MSN MimeOLE V9.60.0053.2200
Seal-Send-Time: Mon, 18 May 2009 23:43:02 -0500
X-OriginalArrivalTime: 19 May 2009 04:43:05.0689 (UTC) FILETIME=[4CEB3490:01C9D83C]
------=_NextPart_000_07BB_01C9D812.6264E480
Content-Type: text/plain;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
Every year, the Washington Post's Mensa Invitational asks readers to take a=
ny word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing o=
ne letter, and supply a new definition. Here are this year's winners:
1. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subje=
ct financially impotent for an indefinite period of time.
2. Ignoranus: A person who is both stupid and an asshole.
3. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until yo=
u realize it was your money to start with.
4. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.
5. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops brig=
ht ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little si=
gn of breaking down in the
near future.
6. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of ge=
tting laid.
7. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.
8. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the perso=
n who doesn't get it.
9. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.
10.. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)
11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these rea=
lly bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a s=
erious bummer.
12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consu=
ming only things that are good for you.
13. Glibido: All talk and no action.
14. Dopeler Effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when t=
hey come at you rapidly.
15. Arachnoleptic Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you'=
ve accidentally walked through a spider web.
16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into you=
r bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.
17. Caterpallor (n..): The color you turn after finding half a worm in =
the fruit you're eating.
In a separate contest, readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for c=
ommon words. And the winners are:
1. Coffee, n. The person upon whom one coughs.
2. Flabbergasted, adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has =
gained.
3. Abdicate, v. To give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.
4. Esplanade, v. To attempt an explanation while drunk.
5. Willy-nilly, adj. Impotent.
6. Negligent, adj. Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only =
a nightgown.
7. Lymph, v. To walk with a lisp.
8. Gargoyle, n. Olive-flavored mouthwash.
9. Flatulence, n. Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been =
run over by a steamroller.
10. Balderdash, n. A rapidly receding hairline.
11. Testicle n. A humorous question on an exam.
12. Rectitude, n. The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologist=
s.
13. Pokemon, n. A Rastafarian proctologist.
------=_NextPart_000_07BB_01C9D812.6264E480
Content-Type: text/html;
charset="iso-8859-1"
Content-Transfer-Encoding: quoted-printable
<!DOCTYPE HTML PUBLIC "-//W3C//DTD HTML 4.0 Transitional//EN">
<HTML><HEAD>
<META http-equiv=Content-Type content=text/html;charset=iso-8859-1>
<STYLE></STYLE>
<META content="MSHTML 6.00.6000.16825" name=GENERATOR></HEAD>
<BODY id=MailContainerBody
style="PADDING-LEFT: 10px; FONT-WEIGHT: normal; FONT-SIZE: 10pt; COLOR: #=
000000; BORDER-TOP-STYLE: none; PADDING-TOP: 15px; FONT-STYLE: normal; FONT=
-FAMILY: Verdana; BORDER-RIGHT-STYLE: none; BORDER-LEFT-STYLE: none; TEXT-D=
ECORATION: none; BORDER-BOTTOM-STYLE: none"
leftMargin=0 topMargin=0 acc_role="text" CanvasTabStop="true"
name="Compose message area"><!--[gte IE 5]><?xml:namespace prefix="v" /=
><?xml:namespace prefix="o" /><![endif]-->
<DIV>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica">Every year, the Washington=
Post's
Mensa Invitational asks readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter=
it
by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition=
.
Here are this year's winners:</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 1. Cashtrati=
on
(n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impo=
tent
for an indefinite period of time.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 2. Ignoranus=
: A
person who is both stupid and an asshole.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 3. Intaxicat=
ion:
Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your=
money to start with.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 4. Reintarna=
tion:
Coming back to life as a hillbilly.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 5. Bozone (n=
.): The
substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetratin=
g.
The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the<=
/DIV>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> near future.=
</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 6. Foreploy:=
Any
misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 7. Giraffiti=
:
Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 8. Sarchasm:=
The
gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get
it.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 9. Inoculatt=
e: To
take coffee intravenously when you are running late.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 10.. Osteopo=
rnosis:
A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 11. Karmaged=
don:
It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right?=
And
then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 12. Decafalo=
n (n.):
The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that ar=
e
good for you.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 13. Glibido:=
All
talk and no action.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 14. Dopeler =
Effect:
The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you
rapidly.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 15. Arachnol=
eptic
Fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked=
through a spider web.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 16. Beelzebu=
g (n.):
Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in th=
e
morning and cannot be cast out.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 17. Caterpal=
lor
(n..): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're
eating.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica">In a separate contest, rea=
ders
are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. And the winners
are:</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 1. Coffee, n=
. The
person upon whom one coughs.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 2. Flabberga=
sted,
adj. Appalled by discovering how much weight one has gained.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 3. Abdicate,=
v. To
give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 4. Esplanade=
, v. To
attempt an explanation while drunk.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 5. Willy-nil=
ly,
adj. Impotent.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 6. Negligent=
, adj.
Absentmindedly answering the door when wearing only a nightgown.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 7. Lymph, v.=
To
walk with a lisp.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 8. Gargoyle,=
n.
Olive-flavored mouthwash.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 9. Flatulenc=
e, n.
Emergency vehicle that picks up someone who has been run over by a
steamroller.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 10. Balderda=
sh, n.
A rapidly receding hairline.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 11. Testicle=
n. A
humorous question on an exam.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 12. Rectitud=
e, n.
The formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.</DIV>
<DIV style="MIN-HEIGHT: 14px; MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"><BR></DI=
V>
<DIV style="MARGIN: 0px; FONT: 12px Helvetica"> 13. Pokemon,=
n. A
Rastafarian proctologist.</DIV>
<DIV><FONT class=Apple-style-span face=Helvetica size=3><SPAN
class=Apple-style-span
style="FONT-SIZE: 12px"><BR></SPAN></FONT></DIV></DIV></BODY></HTML>
------=_NextPart_000_07BB_01C9D812.6264E480--
Received on Sat Mar 02 2024 - 00:57:18 CST