How to Stay a Sysadmin

by Shade

Self-taught or spoon-fed knowledge at trade school, you've crossed the portal and life has become real.  You've finally gone legit and you're getting that big fatty paycheck.  Movin' out and up in life, you feel it in every bone, you've arrived.  This is your destination.  Yet, something seems amiss at work.

You can handle the machines, but the job... she's not what you expected.  People are upset, they're getting in the way.  They don't understand what is going on.  They're hesitant to take your word for anything.  You're feeling boxed in... getting hard to breathe...

The pitfalls of technical gurus are not unique.  I've seen the patterns repeated over and over, yet even the author has a hard time avoiding the same mistakes.  We think alike.  It's getting so bad it's showing up on SNL.  Techies seem to be able to keep other techies up to date on the latest kernel level, version release, or service pack but never communicate about the more mundane aspects, like hacks on keeping the ideal job.  Getting hired for the job is beyond the scope of this article.  This is about keeping it.  Gather 'round young and old, for I pull no punches here.

1.)  Accurate imagination.  Einstein said, "Imagination is more important than knowledge" but left out accuracy.  Cooking up highly unlikely security problems to justify extra "research time" is just as bad as making everyone paranoid about opening their email.  Find the big security holes, state them in as simple and accurate terms as possible - without exaggerations.  Notify management that you need time to plug them.  Imagine all the possible risks and be aware where your vulnerabilities are.  Don't pretend you can plug all of them.  Take time to set up software to monitor your devices.  They're more likely to discover a printer paper jam than a hacker, but the boss can't help but be impressed when you show up before they have a chance to call you.

2.)  Documentation.  Hacker's best friend.  Find all the devices you are responsible for and get documentation for them.  Chances are this late in the game you're going to be walking into someone else's mess and you have more talent than them.  I don't care if they didn't use the documentation documentation, you need it.  Take the time to print those 400 page PDF manuals on the routers, firewalls, CSU/DSUs, and any other oddball digital device that you can find.  Use the stuff hot off the web, not outdated ones shipped with the product.  Research who bought out what companies for your critical components.  You'll need to know their tech support lines soon enough.  Remember, not all companies suffer from a lack of documentation like Wintel machines.  Try looking at the IBM AS/400 documentation available at publib.boulder.ibm.com/pubs/html/as400/online/homeeng1.htm to see what I mean.  Don't be afraid to call for technical support.  Chances are the looming monster of a machine that cost over $100k has a sweet support line with high paid technical gurus just dying to get a phone call from someone who can ask a halfway decent question.  Call them.  They're worth their weight in gold, and make you look even better.

3.)  Don't be a slug.  If the phone is not ringing, users are happy, and database is stable, what do you do?  Work!  Lay out the plans for the dancing city of lights you have in your head.  Have the research done before the CEO asks to put all of Finance's paper records into a digital data vault.  You should know where technology is headed before anyone else, or you are in the wrong business (and wouldn't be reading this magazine).  Act on your instincts first.  Bring the future to them in small practical bites.  Soon they will expect their daily/weekly dose, and allow you to carry on autonomously.

4.)  Remember what it was like to know nothing?  Try harder.  The most frequent and damaging error of all.  Don't delude yourself into thinking you are smarter than anyone.  You may know all the technobabble in your sleep but just because you have a different hobby (read: obsession) does not mean you can't learn things from the janitor.  Say hi to the guy.  He may know more about the condition and locations of your network cable than that million dollar consultant you're itching to get rid of.  In fact, say hello to everyone, especially if you don't know who they are.  Act like everyone is your best friend and they will be, which brings us to number 5.

5.)  Belong.  One of the hacker's biggest skills is the ability to assume the presence of someone who belongs - and others will act accordingly.  This is as much alive socially as it is technically.  Belonging is the way you carry yourself, the way you answer questions in a confident and no-nonsense manner.  I've seen non-technical people hold down high paying technical jobs with a slew of consultants supporting every issue.  Why did management allow this high priced practice?  They didn't know better.  This person's poker face was so good, management believed every company out there could not reinstall Windows without calling a consultant - or two.  You belong there.  You're the best they've seen.  You're the expert.  Do not ask permission to do your job, act on your knowledge.  Don't forget to let them know when you are done.

Number 5 is perhaps the biggest secret of all, but I feel most comfortable it will not fall into the wrong hands being printed in 2600.

Most techies work under people who are unfamiliar with the bowels of technology.  These technology neophytes are veterans with management, which is good because you don't want that job anyway.  Deliver every need to them accurately and as simply as possible.  Eliminate details.  Telling a manager you're having a hard time deciding between technical product A and technical product B will usually result in your manager telling you to find a C which does not exist.  If you are torn on a technical decision, flip a coin and guess before you ask them for help.  However, do not hesitate to ask for assistance for non-technical issues - make them feel needed.

Sounds like spew?  Take your car mechanic.  He's trying to fix your brakes.  He's torn between organic and synthetic break shoes.  Organic are more environmental and squeak less, and synthetic last longer...  Do you want him to ask you what shoes you want on your car?  Shit no.  You don't care, and neither does your boss care if you use the 4*10^-15 percent less stable widget that's faster than the more expensive widget.  Quit splitting hairs, get off the fence, and pick a widget.

This may seem off the beaten path for 2600 but if you're a professional, just think how many times you've seen these mistakes happen, and how costly it was for you to learn them.

Sure am glad I was born to like technology, not woodcarving.  I will never forget how amazing it is that we can get paid so well to do this.